Despite the daunting nature of facing our sins and the spiritual work we may need to do during the days of Elul, embedded in this month is also a remarkable opportunity for closeness to Hashem. The energy of this month is represented by the words “Ani l’Dodi v’Dodi li” (I am for my Beloved and my Beloved is for me).
But why don’t we always feel and intense love and closeness to Hashem? Hashem is always yearning to be close to us. It is only our sins that block us from this closeness. During the year our egos blocks our hearts or souls and therefore we struggle to feel Hashem’s love for us and our love for Him. However, in Elul when we manage to confront our sins and admit our mistakes, we are humbling our egos and admitting “We need You Hashem in our lives. We can’t live without You anymore!” This ego-busting, humbling process of repentance serves as the most powerful force to clear the block between our hearts and Hashem.
Rav Kook ztk’l teaches that there is a flow of life force that emanates from the soul’s longing to purify the world. Our souls desire to do teshuva even while we transgress, since our soul knows the truth that constantly cleaving and connecting to Hashem is our greatest true desire. We want to trust in Hashem, yet we are in conflict when we feel we ‘need’ certain things that Hashem does not ‘give to us’. We think to ourselves, “Surely we know ourselves and our needs best?”
Actually, deep inside our neshamot know that Hashem knows best. Though our souls know what we need, we are blinded by our body. Hashem knows our needs better than we do. His restrictions are His way of protecting us. Hashem has infinite wisdom and is the Source of creation. As we increase our emuna, we repair our relationship with Hashem and learn to trust that He sees everything and knows what is in our bests better than we do.
Today’s daily dose of emuna is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Chaya Raizel bat Dina. May Hashem bless her with a complete healing b’riut hanefesh v’b’iut haguf among all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen.