Tag Archives: marriage


Love and Emuna

May 28, 2015
Orit Esther Riter

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Today’s daily dose of emuna is dedicated for the refuah Sheleimah of Ubar ben Devorah, the fetus of a woman who is having some pregnancy issues and will be going through some critical testing in the next two weeks. May HaKadosh Baruch Hu shower fetus and Mom with a complete healing b’riut hanefesh v’b’riut haguf among all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen.

Love is a positive emotion that moves and connects people.   However we live in an ‘I’ generation that encourages us to take care of ‘me’ over the ‘we’.   No wonder there is a total collapse of human interrelations, particularly in today’s marriage.

Our definition of love is mistakenly entwined into the idea of us experiencing pleasure.  I love ice cream meaning it brings me pleasure. However love is not the reception of pleasure from someone or something.  Love is actually quite the opposite; it is giving to the object of our love.  Love is filling another with what gives them pleasure.

The hidden beauty of love reveals itself when the recipient understands that he is actually giving pleasure back to the giver by receiving their love.  In other words, receiving should be for the sake of giving.  A deep meaningful relationship is when both husband and wife enter each other’s inner world and allow themselves to feel the other one’s needs as though they were their own.  This propels them to fulfill the others needs while they receive joy through their act of giving.

Undoubtedly this is a high level of consciousness, yet living this way enables the giver to always be filled with happiness independent of whether it is appreciated by the receiver.  To this vain, the giver becomes an instrument for fulfilling the loved one; this is true love.

According to the mystical teaching of the Torah, genuine love is an~

  • elated sensation
  • something eternal
  • ‘out of this world’

feeling one experiences while fulfilling another.  It is a state of inner harmony and the only path to self-discovery where one experiences the ability to go beyond their ‘small’ world.  A giver of love breaks all human boundaries and reaches the Heavenly realms.

One last secret.  The giver of love, particularly one who does not receive back in the form of complements, appreciation and validation, is directly nourished from the source of all pleasure and delight; Hashem Yitborach Himself.

Please share your comments and let me know if you are interested in me setting up a webinar delving into this and other emuna lessons that help build solid wholesome relationships.

Emuna and Marriage

May 27, 2015
Orit Esther Riter

one comments

Today, 9 of Sivan is the yahrtzeit of Rabbi Yaakov Chaim Sofer (1870-1939), author of the 8-volume work of Jewish law, Kaf HaChaim. He was born in Baghdad and studied under great sages such as the Ben Ish Chai. In 1904, Rabbi Sofer embarked on a long and arduous journey to Israel, where he became one of the great kabbalists of the 20th century (Aish.com).  May he serve as a protective advocate for Klal Yisrael, Amen.

Today’s daily dose of emuna is dedicated for the refuah Sheleimah of Shmuel Zachariah ben Yona Esther who suffered a heart attack on Shabbos and is in ICU. May HaKadosh Baruch Hu shower him with a complete healing b’riut hanefesh v’b’riut haguf among all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen.

Regularly injecting emuna into our marriage is vital for a wholesome and well-balanced relationship.  The Tanya HaKadosh teaches that man and woman under the chuppah return to be one soul.  Aside from this being a dreamy idea practically speaking this carries a tremendous emuna lesson; husbands and wives mirror each other.  Plain and simple this means that what we see in our spouse is a direct image of what lies within; sometimes so deep within that we are not even aware of it.

This may come across as a new concept to many however it is a fundamental Torah teaching. The two souls were actually one in Shamayim before coming down into this world and then split when born, only to once again reunite when married.  Each one holds something precious that the other lacks and through the avodah of refining our middot each one is given what is desperately needed to complete the soul’s mission.

Torah living is the only means to a strong marital relationship.  The belief that husband and wife are not two completely different people rather one soul split into two separate bodies needs to be deeply implanted in our minds in order to even begin building a healthy home.  This leads to a cease-fire on many levels and a clear pathway to bonding in love and mutual respect.

Tefillah in the Jewish Home

July 3, 2014
Orit Esther Riter

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Tefillah bonds us to Hashem in a unique way. Prayer humbles us because it requires us to acknowledge how dependent we are on Hashem for everything. Therefore tefillah is the quintessence of emuna. It is the tool which Chazal encourages us to use to strengthen our belief that we need Borei Olam in every step of our lives.

Tefillah in effect is the bridging between the mind and the soul. It is the process of awakening the hidden love of Hashem that we cannot readily feel. We need to constantly remind ourselves that Hashem loves, cares and guides us for our ultimate eternal benefit. Through tefillah we fundamentally accustom ourselves that Hashem is intimately involved in every aspect of our lives; including of course our marriage.

Tefillah and its benefits are crucial for building a Jewish home. Shalom bayit (marital peace) must be included in all of our daily prayers and interactions with Borei Olam. Marriages often experience intense complications when couples do not devote enough effort into bringing unity between them.

The AriZal teaches us that our spouse is our tikkun (rectification) –growing and relating to them is the way to repair those spiritual faults that we have within ourselves. The prime purpose that HaKadosh Baruch Hu brought us together with our specific spouse is to grow, train and refine our character traits so that we may become more G-dly, caring and kind individuals.

In order to improve peace in the home, we must first work on improving ourselves.  We cannot achieve perfection without reaching out to Hashem for help via prayer. When we are more fulfilled as individuals we can certainly bond better with our spouse in a more positive way as well. As Rav Ezriel Tauber shlit”a so eloquently puts it: “You can’t find peace with your other half if you do not have peace with your first half (meaning within you).”

Today’s Daily Dose of Emuna is dedicated to the refuah shleimah of Devorah bat Esther. She is suffering from a progressive illness and is in desperate need of Rachamei Shamayim.  Those who know her attest “…that she is so holy that anytime you would see her, her spirits and hope and love for Hashem ran high. Her emunah is great and yet she is in the hospital, now on a respirator…”  May Hashem grace Devorah bat Esther with a complete healing amongst all of Klal Yisrael who are sick and suffering b’karov, b’rachamim, Amen.  

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