Love is a positive emotion that moves and connects people. However we live in an ‘I’ generation that encourages us to take care of ‘me’ over the ‘we’. No wonder there is a total collapse of human interrelations, particularly in today’s marriage.
Our definition of love is mistakenly entwined into the idea of us experiencing pleasure. I love ice cream meaning it brings me pleasure. However love is not the reception of pleasure from someone or something. Love is actually quite the opposite; it is giving to the object of our love. Love is filling another with what gives them pleasure.
The hidden beauty of love reveals itself when the recipient understands that he is actually giving pleasure back to the giver by receiving their love. In other words, receiving should be for the sake of giving. A deep meaningful relationship is when both husband and wife enter each other’s inner world and allow themselves to feel the other one’s needs as though they were their own. This propels them to fulfill the others needs while they receive joy through their act of giving.
Undoubtedly this is a high level of consciousness, yet living this way enables the giver to always be filled with happiness independent of whether it is appreciated by the receiver. To this vain, the giver becomes an instrument for fulfilling the loved one; this is true love.
According to the mystical teaching of the Torah, genuine love is an~
•‘out of this world’
feeling one experiences while fulfilling another. It is a state of inner harmony and the only path to self-discovery where one experiences the ability to go beyond their ‘small’ world. A giver of love breaks all human boundaries and reaches the Heavenly realms.
One last secret. The giver of love, particularly one who does not receive back in the form of complements, appreciation and validation, is directly nourished from the source of all pleasure and delight; Hashem Yitborach Himself.